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Blue Ribbon Singles
  • About
    • Amy Owens
    • 25th Anniversary of Making Connections
    • Indianapolis Singles Coach Announces the Release of Online Dating Boot Camp
    • News
    • What People Are Saying
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    • Singles Coaching
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Blue Ribbon Singles Column

Puppy Love

8/15/2020

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​​By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
​Getting to know someone is similar to watching a puppy grow up.  There are blessings and surprises with both.  Cute puppies, for instance, sometimes turn out to be homely, aggressive or skittish when they grow up – anything but cute and cuddly. Homely puppies, on the other hand, may turn out to be handsome, smart, protective, devoted companions.  And, like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re getting until you’ve taken a bite.
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​At one time or other, each of us, has had our heart stolen by a “cute puppy”. He or she was the person who, at first, seemed to be the person we’d always hoped to find.  In him or her, we saw all the traits we wanted our significant other to have and imagined that we had at last located our soul mate.

​The key word is “imagined”. Until we really get to know someone, our view of them – who and what they are – is largely imaginary.  We view them through the rosy-colored lenses of our imagination and our earnest longing to find our special person. And, just like a prospective puppy owner in a puppy store, we’re ready to wrap up the little cutie and take him or her home with us – right now.
​​This is how we get into inappropriate relationships – ones that are not right for us.  We meet someone who appears to have long-term potential for us, and then - with the delight and delirium of a puppy at play - we immediately take him or her home with us.

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Pep Talk

8/15/2020

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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
When you're single, it's easy to feel like you're on the outside looking in.

You walk through the mall looking at all the people, most of them in pairs, and you wonder to yourself, "He/she is not nearly as attractive as I. How come he/she is partnered and I'm not?" Or, if you live alone, you arrive home on a Friday night knowing that once you close the door, it may be Monday before you have any significant contact with another human being. You may "tough out" the weekend or head for the coffee shop on Saturday or Sunday just so you can be around other people. If you're lucky, you get to exchange a few pleasantries with someone.
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​You get through the weekend, but the experience has taken a toll on your self-esteem. You begin to have doubts about your desirability as a partner. Your social skills and your ability to be comfortable in social settings head south. In response, you may bury yourself in your work or immerse yourself in your children's activities.

​It doesn't have to be that way! You can do the singles scene in real time.

Whether you're 28 or 68, widowed, divorced or always single, you can get a life - and a life partner. I'm sure of it.

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Marry a Farmer

8/15/2020

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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
​I’ve spent the past 20 years teaching and counseling singles in matters of the heart.  One of the things I’ve learned about women is that what they say they are looking for in a man doesn’t match with what they really want in a mate.

Fairly universally women say want to marry “a suit” – a tall, handsome, professional man with advanced degrees, good social and conversational skills and an income that will keep them in the style to which they would like to become accustomed.

What they really want is a man of good character who cherishes them and treats them – and the things that are important to them – with respect.

Good character and suits are not joined at the hip.  There are plenty of suits who are not very nice people.  You wouldn’t want to trust your life, your money, your kids or your heart and soul to them.

When women lament the scarcity of “nice” suits – men of good character who wear suits, I suggest they define more clearly the kind of man they want to marry.  Then I encourage them to consider marrying a man who doesn’t wear a suit to work.

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Jammies and Tea

8/15/2020

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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach

​One of the graduates of my singles course emailed me the other day with this update:  “I joined Match.com and am having fun. My rules are:  1) Don't take it too seriously; 2) Be nice to everyone, and 3) To get results, you have to work hard. (Well, at least I do.)
“I’ve been out to coffee with two different men.  The dates were enjoyable, but I knew they weren't for me.  And knowing that was reassuring.

“The guy I met on Sunday was very interesting, but he didn't get a return-to-me ticket.  When he didn't help me with my coat, I began to wonder what other common day-to-day, make-life-easier-and-nicer things he also doesn’t feel are important.  I mean, if he doesn't help me with my coat, there is no way he will put my jammies in the dryer on a rainy day when I am not feeling well.  The husband of a friend of mine does that!
​“I suppose we all have different measurements.  Me, I am looking for a man to warm my jammies and fix me tea on a rainy day when I’m not feeling well.”
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  • About
    • Amy Owens
    • 25th Anniversary of Making Connections
    • Indianapolis Singles Coach Announces the Release of Online Dating Boot Camp
    • News
    • What People Are Saying
    • Contact
  • Singles
    • Singles Coaching
    • Divorce Recovery
    • Widows and Widowers
  • Matchmaking
    • About Matchmaking
    • How it Works
  • Dating Boot Camp - Online Workshops
    • About Dating Boot Camp
    • Workshop Sessions
  • Books / Column / News
    • Blue Ribbon Singles Column
    • Subscribe to Column
    • Books
    • Events
    • News