“I’ve been out to coffee with two different men.  The dates were enjoyable, but I knew they weren't for me.  And knowing that was reassuring.

“The guy I met on Sunday was very interesting, but he didn't get a return-to-me ticket.  When he didn't help me with my coat, I began to wonder what other common day-to-day, make-life-easier-and-nicer things he also doesn’t feel are important.  I mean, if he doesn't help me with my coat, there is no way he will put my jammies in the dryer on a rainy day when I am not feeling well.  The husband of a friend of mine does that!

​“I suppose we all have different measurements.  Me, I am looking for a man to warm my jammies and fix me tea on a rainy day when I’m not feeling well.”

It's one thing to protest and say what we don't like or don't want.  It's another thing to ask and advocate for what we do want.

​This also applies to attracting our Mr. or Ms. Right.  If we only know what we don't want, that is where our forward progress will stop.  For multiple reasons.  1)  We're focused on and energizing the notion of what we don't want.  This will result in our getting more of what we don't want.  That's because we always get more of what we focus on.  2) We are not focused on what we do want, so the "Cosmic Dating Service" doesn't know what to bring us.  For example, if someone asks me to go grocery shopping for them but only tells me what they don't want, what are the chances I will get them what they do want?  Slim to none, wouldn't you say?

Based on my experience coaching singles who are searching for mates, geeks and nice girls top my list of hard-to-match singles.  The problem is not that they are not good people, but rather that their most obvious traits are unappreciated or misunderstood by other single men and women.

Geeks – please cut me some slack as I wax stereotypic here – are smart, hardworking, kind, sincere, conscientious, humble, loyal and shy.  They know a lot about a lot of stuff but not much about self-promotion.  If they did, they still wouldn’t self-promote, as they see that as “bragging”.  Geeks don’t brag; they leave bragging to others.  Geeks just do what they do – and they do what they do very well – and let their work speak for itself.  If someone notices, fine.  If not, oh well.