Hope for Singles
By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
I love big band music. I always thought that was because of the lively tempos. The other day I had an experience that led me to believe it was something else about the music that spoke to me. As I waited in the drive thru line at Starbucks, I heard a song from the Big Band era that was actually a slow, lyrical ballad. That got me musing to discover why it appealed to me. It didn’t take long for the answer to come to me – hope. Big Band music is all about hope. Big Band music is about hope and anticipation. Big Band music offers reassurances that our right one will come along and that our love for each other and our life together will be wonderful. There are also messages assuring us that we can overcome whatever challenges we may face. |
On the other hand, popular music today is about love and loss and revenge. Songs are either centered on the love we have and how wonderful it is or the love we’ve lost and how painful that loss is. Rap music is centered on what we’re going to do, or would like to do, to get even with whomever caused our losses. Messages of hope are absent.
How does this affect single people? It discourages us and worries us. It causes us to question if we are crazy. Too picky. Undesirable. It causes us to ask, “What’s wrong with me?”
Everyone who is single gets broadsided by “the lonelies” from time to time. That’s when we need to have a reservoir of positive messages to buoy our spirits and help restore our balance.
How does this affect single people? It discourages us and worries us. It causes us to question if we are crazy. Too picky. Undesirable. It causes us to ask, “What’s wrong with me?”
Everyone who is single gets broadsided by “the lonelies” from time to time. That’s when we need to have a reservoir of positive messages to buoy our spirits and help restore our balance.
Restoring and maintaining hope has been the hallmark of my work with single people over the past 20 years. Whether it’s in my columns, my books, my workshops or my private coaching sessions, my message is always one of hope. Why? Because with hope, we can move forward. Forward progress boosts confidence. Confidence is appealing. Confidence is sexy. Confidence adds joy and value and balance to our lives. People whose lives are joyful and balanced are magnets for other joyful, balanced people. Among the first 1,000 or so people who completed Dating Boot Camp, the one outcome common to all of them was a significant increase in confidence. Hundreds of those people are now happily married, permanently partnered or in the best relationship they’ve ever had. Be reassured, there is hope! |