Selections from the
Blue Ribbon Singles Column
By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
I recently heard a crisis expert say, "We are all seeking nurture, closeness and reassurance now."
Yes, this is a time when we all want to connect and to feel connected to other people. The longing and the need to connect may be even stronger for single people - especially if we don't have or don't feel connected to a family or a cohesive group of supportive friends. I believe this is a time when singles might be tempted to rush into relationships we would have shunned in more "normal" times.
A case in point is a 30-year old woman who registered for Dating Boot Camp in early September. She had never married and wasn't dating anyone at the time she registered. Four weeks later, she emailed me, "I've met a wonderful man, and I'm not going to need your classes!!!"
In a subsequent phone conversation, she gleefully told me that she and her "wonderful man" are planning to get married in mid-January. They have only known each other for a month, and they are planning their wedding! I truly hope it works out for them, but I am very concerned - for both of them.
Relationships, all relationships, take time to develop. If we try to rush the process, we make mistakes. A cake takes a certain amount of time to bake, and we cannot take it out of the oven just because "we can't wait." If we do, we end up with a soggy, gooey mess - a disappointment to everyone.
Don't know where to start? Here are some ideas:
Rest assured: The "wonderful" person you are looking for is out there. He or she is looking for you, too - right now. When the time is exactly right, you will find each other.
In the meantime, take care of your precious self!
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