By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach Greg, a student in my singles course, emailed saying, “I’ve been giving a fair amount of thought to the ‘big hole in the parking lot’ you talked about in the workshop last week. Although the metaphor helps women who might be apt to wait by the phone the same evening for the man to call, I believe it could help a number of men – including me.”
Greg went on to describe a wonderful first date with a woman he found particularly interesting. He sent her an email the next day but got no response – for three days. “I began to turn over in my mind what I had said or done that made her not only not want to meet a second time, but not even want to return my email. ”Finally, she called and told me she was still in a relationship. In a way, it was a relief to learn that it really had nothing to do with me. But, it probably would have helped immediately for me to imagine her being swallowed up by a big black hole.” Ladies, the words “I’ll call you” are a multi-purpose tool in most men’s relationship toolbox. When a man wants to see a woman again, he says he will call. When he’s unsure about seeing her again, he says he will call. If he doesn’t know what to say, he says he will call. If he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, he says he will call.
0 Comments
By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach I’ve spent the past 20 years teaching and counseling singles in matters of the heart. One of the things I’ve learned about women is that what they say they are looking for in a man doesn’t match with what they really want in a mate.
Fairly universally women say want to marry “a suit” – a tall, handsome, professional man with advanced degrees, good social and conversational skills and an income that will keep them in the style to which they would like to become accustomed. What they really want is a man of good character who cherishes them and treats them – and the things that are important to them – with respect. Good character and suits are not joined at the hip. There are plenty of suits who are not very nice people. You wouldn’t want to trust your life, your money, your kids or your heart and soul to them. When women lament the scarcity of “nice” suits – men of good character who wear suits, I suggest they define more clearly the kind of man they want to marry. Then I encourage them to consider marrying a man who doesn’t wear a suit to work. By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach One of the graduates of my singles course emailed me the other day with this update: “I joined Match.com and am having fun. My rules are: 1) Don't take it too seriously; 2) Be nice to everyone, and 3) To get results, you have to work hard. (Well, at least I do.)
By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
|