​​Greg, a student in my singles course, emailed saying, “I’ve been giving a fair amount of thought to the ‘big hole in the parking lot’ you talked about in the workshop last week.  Although the metaphor helps women who might be apt to wait by the phone the same evening for the man to call, I believe it could help a number of men – including me.”

Greg went on to describe a wonderful first date with a woman he found particularly interesting.  He sent her an email the next day but got no response – for three days.  “I began to turn over in my mind what I had said or done that made her not only not want to meet a second time, but not even want to return my email.

”Finally, she called and told me she was still in a relationship.  In a way, it was a relief to learn that it really had nothing to do with me.  But, it probably would have helped immediately for me to imagine her being swallowed up by a big black hole.”

Ladies, the words “I’ll call you” are a multi-purpose tool in most men’s relationship toolbox.  When a man wants to see a woman again, he says he will call.  When he’s unsure about seeing her again, he says he will call.  If he doesn’t know what to say, he says he will call.  If he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, he says he will call.