By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach Getting to know someone is similar to watching a puppy grow up. There are blessings and surprises with both. Cute puppies, for instance, sometimes turn out to be homely, aggressive or skittish when they grow up – anything but cute and cuddly. Homely puppies, on the other hand, may turn out to be handsome, smart, protective, devoted companions. And, like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re getting until you’ve taken a bite.
This is how we get into inappropriate relationships – ones that are not right for us. We meet someone who appears to have long-term potential for us, and then - with the delight and delirium of a puppy at play - we immediately take him or her home with us.
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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach When you're single, it's easy to feel like you're on the outside looking in. You walk through the mall looking at all the people, most of them in pairs, and you wonder to yourself, "He/she is not nearly as attractive as I. How come he/she is partnered and I'm not?" Or, if you live alone, you arrive home on a Friday night knowing that once you close the door, it may be Monday before you have any significant contact with another human being. You may "tough out" the weekend or head for the coffee shop on Saturday or Sunday just so you can be around other people. If you're lucky, you get to exchange a few pleasantries with someone.
By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach I’ve spent the past 20 years teaching and counseling singles in matters of the heart. One of the things I’ve learned about women is that what they say they are looking for in a man doesn’t match with what they really want in a mate.
Fairly universally women say want to marry “a suit” – a tall, handsome, professional man with advanced degrees, good social and conversational skills and an income that will keep them in the style to which they would like to become accustomed. What they really want is a man of good character who cherishes them and treats them – and the things that are important to them – with respect. Good character and suits are not joined at the hip. There are plenty of suits who are not very nice people. You wouldn’t want to trust your life, your money, your kids or your heart and soul to them. When women lament the scarcity of “nice” suits – men of good character who wear suits, I suggest they define more clearly the kind of man they want to marry. Then I encourage them to consider marrying a man who doesn’t wear a suit to work. By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach One of the graduates of my singles course emailed me the other day with this update: “I joined Match.com and am having fun. My rules are: 1) Don't take it too seriously; 2) Be nice to everyone, and 3) To get results, you have to work hard. (Well, at least I do.)
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