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Blue Ribbon Singles
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    • Amy Owens
    • 25th Anniversary of Making Connections
    • Indianapolis Singles Coach Announces the Release of Online Dating Boot Camp
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Selections from the
Blue Ribbon Singles Column

Jammies and Tea

8/15/2020

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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach

​One of the graduates of my singles course emailed me the other day with this update:  “I joined Match.com and am having fun. My rules are:  1) Don't take it too seriously; 2) Be nice to everyone, and 3) To get results, you have to work hard. (Well, at least I do.)
“I’ve been out to coffee with two different men.  The dates were enjoyable, but I knew they weren't for me.  And knowing that was reassuring.

“The guy I met on Sunday was very interesting, but he didn't get a return-to-me ticket.  When he didn't help me with my coat, I began to wonder what other common day-to-day, make-life-easier-and-nicer things he also doesn’t feel are important.  I mean, if he doesn't help me with my coat, there is no way he will put my jammies in the dryer on a rainy day when I am not feeling well.  The husband of a friend of mine does that!
​“I suppose we all have different measurements.  Me, I am looking for a man to warm my jammies and fix me tea on a rainy day when I’m not feeling well.”
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I Have a Dream

8/15/2020

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​By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach

This week I heard someone talk about Martin Luther King and why he was so effective.  The speaker noted that Dr. King did not rail against or about what he didn't like.  He didn't present a specific plan.  He didn't demand others to follow his plan.  Instead, Dr. King had a dream, and he generously shared his dream with anyone who would listen.
It's one thing to protest and say what we don't like or don't want.  It's another thing to ask and advocate for what we do want.

​This also applies to attracting our Mr. or Ms. Right.  If we only know what we don't want, that is where our forward progress will stop.  For multiple reasons.  1)  We're focused on and energizing the notion of what we don't want.  This will result in our getting more of what we don't want.  That's because we always get more of what we focus on.  2) We are not focused on what we do want, so the "Cosmic Dating Service" doesn't know what to bring us.  For example, if someone asks me to go grocery shopping for them but only tells me what they don't want, what are the chances I will get them what they do want?  Slim to none, wouldn't you say?
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Hope for Singles

8/15/2020

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​By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
I love big band music.  I always thought that was because of the lively tempos.  The other day I had an experience that led me to believe it was something else about the music that spoke to me.

As I waited in the drive thru line at Starbucks, I heard a song from the Big Band era that was actually a slow, lyrical ballad.  That got me musing to discover why it appealed to me.  It didn’t take long for the answer to come to me – hope.  Big Band music is all about hope.

Big Band music is about hope and anticipation.  Big Band music offers reassurances that our right one will come along and that our love for each other and our life together will be wonderful.  There are also messages assuring us that we can overcome whatever challenges we may face.
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Buy of a Lifetime

8/1/2020

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By Amy Owens, The Singles Coach
There are two ways that people typically shop for a mate – the way a woman buys shoes and the way a man buys vehicles.

A woman buys shoes because of the way they look.  She sees a pair of shoes that appeals to her and instantly falls in love with them because of the way they look.  She tries them on.  If they fit, she buys them.  If they don’t, she makes excuses for why they don’t fit and buys them anyway.  Oprah did this all the time.  She would stride onto her show wearing a stylish pair of shoes, make glowing comments about the shoes to the audience, and then complain that they didn’t really fit.  She even coined the phrase, “10-minute shoes,” to describe shoes that were so uncomfortable that she could wear them for only ten minutes. 

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  • About
    • Amy Owens
    • 25th Anniversary of Making Connections
    • Indianapolis Singles Coach Announces the Release of Online Dating Boot Camp
    • News
    • What People Are Saying
    • Contact
  • Singles
    • Singles Coaching
    • Divorce Recovery
    • Widows and Widowers
  • Matchmaking
    • About Matchmaking
    • How it Works
  • Dating Boot Camp - Online Workshops
    • About Dating Boot Camp
    • Workshop Sessions
  • Books / Column / News
    • Blue Ribbon Singles Column
    • Subscribe to Column
    • Books
    • Events
    • News